A Tongue Held

One of the facets of being a member of an organized religion (for me) means my life has a certain social aspect that doesn't really reflect who I am. I mean, I don't actively dislike the people from my church. There are some folks whose company I even truly enjoy, but by and large, my slightly reclusive and selfish nature is often at war with an ingrained but entirely learned behavior that dictates I must interact with people whose... erm, personalities and interests... uh, are diametrically opposed to my own.

When engaged in conversation with my fellow parishioners, I make every effort to listen politely and try very hard not to allow my eyes to glaze over and/or fill with horror while they drone on at length about their footballing people and their... money things that can be... monied- invested- (whatever), and their "reality" based television series and what have you. I ask you, do I receive the same courtesy when I bring up the fascinating subjects of cryptoichthyology or, perhaps even Godzilla? I most certainly do not.

The fact that I don't have a lot in common with most of the members of my faith is never more obvious than when I have to get to attend social functions such as, oh, say, weddings. I've had two in the past month, and I can't speak for other theologies, but the LDS faith likes to see its kids good 'n' married as soon as possible. That's all well and good, but it just hasn't happened for me yet (the grousing at the beginning of this post probably being a good indicator as to why), and I think that makes folks nervous. My old bishop has shown up to both of the last two wedding receptions I attended, and he always has the same questions for me, the "old maid". "Hey", says he, while gripping my hand entirely too tightly, "Shouldn't you be next?"

I wonder. Does he think that's helping? That his pointing out my obvious lack of a love life is going to suddenly spur me into a marrying frenzy? It's not as though I haven't tried to find someone interested in sharing my life, but for heaven's sake, just looking at me should give you some idea that my efforts at dating are going to be a mixed bag at best. After you've actually had some sort of interaction with me? It should become crystal clear it's going to take me a little longer than your average Joe. It just seems mean.

Anyway, I had the opportunity to go to the viewing of a wonderful man who passed away last week. Jan Denbutter was deservedly well loved and a lot of people from my old ward were there to pay their respects to him. My old bishop was there again as well, and I have to tell you, it took every ounce of self restraint to keep from walking up to him, taking his hand in that same too firm fashion and asking, "Hey, shouldn't you be next?"